On the reality TV show “Married at First Sight” a group of certified experts help six singles find a life partner through a series of intense compatibility tests based on sexuality, spirituality, psychology, before they make their way to the alter. In the weeks that follow in a season, the couple is coached on how to navigate married life.
They seem to be great at their job because couples decide to stay married by the Season Finale.
In East Asia, arranged marriage is a long-held tradition, especially in India, Pakistan, Japan and China. In these countries, parents and family members are involved in the process of finding their sons and daughters a partner. Where the experts use data and facts to match people, the family relies on goodwill, wisdom, understanding and love for their children.
Arranged marriages get a bad reputation, especially in Africa, because they are termed to be illegal ‘forced marriage’. And these two couldn’t be any more different, so here’s why an arranged marriage might be a good option for you.
At least an emotional one, but Joseph Cilona a Psychologist on the “Married at First Sight” show equates an arranged marriage to a business, financial and pragmatic affair. Where the soul connection and passion in love marriages often lead to turbulent relationships and epic divorces, arranged marriages are often practical, in the beginning.
Preserving your core values
Due to its practical nature, an arranged marriage not only seeks to preserve certain culture but can also be a connection built on core values than romantic feelings. Core values like hard work, family, integrity, care, are more reliable determinants of the health of a relationship unlike in romantic marriages where values are compromised for love.
Commitment is to relationship not love
In this type of marriage, it is easy to prioritise the hard stuff over personal feelings and needs. Commitment to make the marriage work, as an independent thing, to be enjoyed and looked after, from both parties is easier in an arranged marriage.
The stakes are higher because you commit before fully knowing the other person, and your expectations are more realistic. You also have time to understand your partner and observe how you are settling in. You accept the person and situation as it is and you both make adjustments as you go.
You and your family grow closer dealing with the delicate matters of considering the prospective partner’s cultural background, educational qualifications, social status, and adjusting to the new family. In a love marriage, you have a slim choice on any of these matters.